The approval gate is real: every companion romance in Baldur’s Gate 3 locks behind a specific numerical threshold, and most players never see the exact numbers. Astarion won’t proposition you until you reach 40. Gale’s weave channeling scene doesn’t fire until 36. Karlach literally cannot touch you in Act 1 — her infernal engine burns at temperatures that scorch lips on contact. This guide gives you every threshold, the fastest approval-building choices per companion, and the five Act 1 mistakes that close off relationships before you reach the Shadow-Cursed Lands. For a full overview of each companion’s combat role and party composition, see our BG3 Beginner’s Guide.
Verified on BG3 v4.1 (Patch 8). Approval values and scene triggers may shift with future updates.
BG3 Romance Quick Start: 5 Steps Before Long Rest
- Recruit companions immediately. Approval only accumulates while a companion is in your active party and physically present during key choices. Leaving Gale or Wyll in camp during Act 1’s refugee quest chains costs 20–30 approval you cannot recover.
- Know each companion’s core value. Astarion rewards self-interest and pragmatism. Wyll responds to heroism and protecting innocents. They are directly opposed — choices that stack approval with one drain it from the other.
- Save the Emerald Grove. The Tiefling Refugee Celebration — the densest romance window in Act 1 — only triggers if the Grove survives. Siding with the goblins cancels it, permanently removes Wyll, and locks out the goblin-path-exclusive Minthara until Act 2 with no celebration equivalent.
- Hit your target approval before the celebration. See the master table below. The thresholds are gates, not guidelines — below the number, the dialogue option does not appear.
- Cap at two active romances during the celebration. The game enforces a two-companion initiation limit. There is a workaround — covered in the Common Mistakes section — but it requires preparation before the long rest that triggers the party.
The Approval System: How the Gate Actually Works
Approval is a hidden integer ranging from −50 to 100. It is not a vague reputation score — it is a database value with exact thresholds that unlock or block specific scenes. Drop to −50 and the companion leaves permanently, with warnings at −20 and −40. Typical changes are ±1, ±5, or ±10 for small, medium, and large events respectively.
| Range | Category | What It Means for Romance |
|---|---|---|
| −19 to 20 | Neutral | No romance options available for any companion |
| 21–40 | Medium | Unlocks Lae’zel, Karlach, Wyll (romance), Shadowheart (party invite path) |
| 41–60 | High | Unlocks Astarion, Shadowheart (direct approach), Gale |
| 61–80 | Very High | Companion approves readily; persuasion checks easier |
| 81–100 | Exceptional | Deep Act 2/3 scenes accessible; companion very easily convinced |
One mechanic most players miss: proximity. Approval only registers when the companion is in the active party during a qualifying event. A companion parked in camp earns nothing, regardless of what you do.
All 8 Romanceable Companions: Approval Thresholds at a Glance
| Companion | Min. Approval | First Romance Trigger | Available From |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wyll | 10 (flirt) / 20 (romance) | Celebration kiss — DC 15 Charisma check | Act 1 |
| Lae’zel | 20 | Boss kill → exclamation icon appears above her head | Act 1 |
| Karlach | 20 | Tiefling celebration confession (no physical contact yet) | Act 1 |
| Shadowheart | 20 (party invite) / 40 (direct) | Party invite or direct approach at celebration | Act 1 |
| Gale | 36 | Weave channeling scene at camp (three skill checks) | Act 1 |
| Astarion | 40 | Post-celebration night proposition | Act 1 |
| Minthara | 30 | Camp dialogue before long rest — goblin path only | Act 2 |
| Halsin | 20 | Shadow curse lifted; Act 3 camp conversation | Act 3 |
The Six Origin Companions: What to Do and What to Avoid
Astarion — Approval Threshold: 40
Astarion’s 40-approval threshold is the highest in Act 1, but he accumulates it fast if you match his values: self-interest, pragmatism, and no martyrdom. The fastest single boost is agreeing to let him drink your blood during “bite night” — refusing loses both the approval and his vulnerability reveal, which is where his actual backstory begins. Allow him to kill Gandrel the monster hunter rather than negotiate. When he asks you to describe what he looks like, call his face beautiful.
His Act 2 arc pivots on Raphael’s scar revelation. Be supportive; frame it as something that doesn’t change how you feel about him. His Act 3 path splits into an ascended vampire lord route and a more vulnerable non-ascended arc — both are full romance paths, but the character you’re romancing is genuinely different.
Don’t: Command him to bite Araj Oblodra against his will, or suggest his past parallels how you treat him — both end the romance.
Shadowheart — Approval Threshold: 20 (party invite) / 40 (direct)
The 20-approval party invite path is deceptively shallow — it gets you an invitation to share a bottle, not a relationship. The waterfall scene near camp (her first fully intimate Act 1 moment) requires hitting 40. Two fastest approval boosts: hand her the Idol of Shar at Grymforge (+10), and give her the Night Orchid in the Shadow-Cursed Lands (+10).
Her Act 2 pivot is the most story-impactful romance moment in the game. Sparing the Nightsong (Aylin) permanently locks her devotion to you; killing it re-aligns her to Shar and reshapes her Act 3 personality. The romance continues either path — but who you are romancing changes substantially.
Don’t: After the waterfall scene, say “it was a mistake” or that you “got carried away.” Either response closes the romance path immediately.
Karlach — Approval Threshold: 20
Karlach’s romance has a physical constraint built into the design: her infernal engine operates at combustion temperatures throughout Act 1 and most of Act 2. Attempting to kiss her burns your lips. Actual intimacy is blocked until her second engine upgrade in Act 2 — not a bug, but an intentional mechanic that makes the eventual payoff hit harder. Her flames visibly turn blue during moments of heightened emotion.
Confess your feelings at the Goblin Hunt Celebration (the earlier Act 1 party) once you hit 20 approval. Her Act 3 “first date” at The Singing Lute is one of the game’s warmest scenes. For builds that complement her playstyle, see our BG3 Best Builds guide.
Don’t: Miss the Act 2 intimate scene. The relationship ends on entry to Act 3 if you skip it.
Gale — Approval Threshold: 36
Gale’s romance trigger is a scripted scene that fires at 36 approval: he offers to teach you to channel the Weave through three skill checks (imitate a gesture, repeat an incantation, picture harmony). Success lets you share a visualization of a kiss or hand-hold. This scene is the signal that romance is available — it doesn’t appear below the threshold.
He approves of heroism and engaging genuinely with his magical situation. Resolving Act 1 conflicts peacefully — breaking up fights, protecting innocents — prompts personal disclosures that accelerate the path. His Act 2 love confession at Moonrise Towers is explicit: he demands monogamy and will force a choice if you’re flirting with others.
Don’t: Dismiss his Netherese orb as someone else’s problem, demonstrate cruelty, or imply he’s only interesting for his arcane talent.
Lae’zel — Approval Threshold: 20
Lae’zel doesn’t respond to charm or heroism — she respects martial dominance and Githyanki cultural alignment. The visual cue for her Act 1 romance window is an exclamation icon that appears above her head after you defeat a significant enemy (the Hag, the Ogres, the Owlbear, or the Spider Matriarch) once approval hits 20. That icon is the prompt — use the dialogue option “Is it just me, or have you been looking at me differently lately?” while it’s active.
Her Act 2 includes a mandatory combat duel. Win or lose, both outcomes advance the relationship. She is possessive and will not share you — multiple concurrent romances are incompatible with her path.
Don’t: Play primarily around non-combat solutions. Pacifist dialogue paths consistently miss her approval-building windows. Check our BG3 Best Class guide for combat-forward builds that stack Lae’zel approval naturally.
Wyll — Approval Threshold: 10 (flirt) / 20 (romance)
Wyll has the lowest romance threshold and the most forgiving path — heroic choices that any good-aligned player takes naturally stack his approval without deliberate effort. At the Tiefling Celebration, find him near the water. The flirtation path includes a guessing game, dancing, and a kiss attempt that requires a DC 15 Charisma or Persuasion check. Failing the check doesn’t end the romance.
His Act 2 dance scene triggers automatically at 20+ approval during a long rest. His Act 3 acorn proposal at the Wilden Oak requires completing his companion quest — specifically resolving Duke Ravengard’s fate before the endgame.
Don’t: Accept Mizora’s advances (immediate breakup) or allow Duke Ravengard to die. Either ends the relationship permanently.
The Non-Origin Companions: Halsin and Minthara
Halsin — Act 3 Only, Openly Polyamorous
Halsin will not pursue romance until the shadow curse is broken — in Acts 1 and 2, he’s focused on the curse and won’t commit regardless of approval. Flirting with him in Act 2 is safe and doesn’t affect existing relationships. His polyamory is explicitly structured: if you already have a romance with Astarion, Karlach, or Shadowheart, you can ask each of them whether they consent to adding Halsin — all three will agree. No other companion permits this arrangement.
Minthara — Goblin Path Only, Act 2 Recruit
Minthara’s romance requires a full commitment to the evil route: betray the Emerald Grove, side with the goblins, and allow the refugees to be killed. This path is mutually exclusive with Halsin and the Tiefling Celebration. She is rescued from Moonrise Towers in Act 2 and requires 30+ approval before her romance dialogue fires. Her introduction mechanic — a sleep assassination attempt you must pass via Persuasion or Deception — is the most mechanically unusual romance scene in the game.
Which Companion Should You Pursue? Player-Type Picker
| Your Play Style | Best Match | Why |
|---|---|---|
| First playthrough, heroic build | Wyll or Karlach | Heroic choices stack approval naturally; most forgiving thresholds |
| Roleplayer, story-focused | Shadowheart or Gale | Most story-reactive arcs; Shadowheart’s Nightsong choice is the game’s most pivotal companion moment |
| Completionist (all scenes, all paths) | Astarion | Longest arc; ascended vs. non-ascended gives two full Act 3 variations |
| Chaotic or dark run | Minthara | Requires full evil route; most unique romance mechanic |
| Polyamory run | Karlach or Shadowheart + Halsin | Only Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart consent to adding Halsin |
| Combat-first player | Lae’zel | Approval tied to combat victories rather than dialogue choices |
Five Mistakes That Lock You Out Before Act 2
- Siding with the goblins. This cancels the Tiefling Celebration — the primary Act 1 romance window for six companions simultaneously — and permanently removes Wyll from the party. If Wyll or Karlach is your target, this decision is irreversible.
- Leaving companions in camp during key decisions. Approval only registers when the companion is present. Running Act 1’s refugee quest chain without Gale or Shadowheart in the active party costs approval you cannot recover — the scenes don’t replay.
- Trying to start three romances at the celebration without preparation. The two-companion initiation cap is enforced. The workaround: queue two romance-track conversations on the same day before the long rest that triggers the party, then approach the third companion at the event itself. All three must still be below commitment stage for this to work.
- Refusing Astarion’s bite request. “Bite night” is a significant approval event, not a throwaway scene. Refusing signals distrust at the moment he’s being most vulnerable — it costs approval and skips a piece of backstory that contextualises his entire Act 2 arc.
- Treating Shadowheart’s celebration invite as a commitment. The 20-approval party invite is a soft open, not a relationship. If you don’t follow through at the waterfall scene before crossing into Act 2, she interprets the inaction as rejection. Recovery is possible in Act 2, but requires re-hitting 40 approval and re-initiating from scratch.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you romance more than one companion simultaneously?
You can run flirtation tracks with multiple companions, but the game forces a choice before Act 2 ends. The only structured polyamory option is adding Halsin to an existing romance with Astarion, Karlach, or Shadowheart — only those three consent. Every other companion demands exclusivity once the relationship turns serious.
Does approval carry between acts?
Yes. Approval is persistent across all three acts. What changes is opportunity — companions who join late (Halsin full-time from Act 2, Minthara from Act 2 on the goblin path) have compressed windows to build the number. Halsin specifically won’t romance until Act 3 regardless of approval level; clearing the shadow curse is the prerequisite, not the score.
Can you permanently miss a romance?
Yes — several are missable. Wyll is permanently removed if you side with the goblins. Minthara is only recruitable on the goblin path. Karlach’s romance closes if you skip her Act 2 intimate scene before entering Act 3. Missing the Tiefling Celebration eliminates the easiest entry points for six companions at once.
Sources
- [1] Romance — bg3.wiki
- [2] Approval — bg3.wiki
- [3] Astarion/Romance — bg3.wiki
- [4] Shadowheart/Romance — bg3.wiki
- [5] Karlach/Romance — bg3.wiki
- [6] Gale/Romance — bg3.wiki
- [7] Lae'zel/Romance — bg3.wiki
- [8] Wyll/Romance — bg3.wiki
- [9] Halsin/Romance — bg3.wiki
I've been playing video games for over 20 years, spanning everything from early PC titles to modern open-world games. I started Switchblade Gaming to publish the kind of accurate, well-researched guides I always wanted to find — built on primary sources, tested in-game, and kept up to date after patches. I currently focus on Minecraft and Pokémon GO.